Denial of Pain

tumblr_m2083uCjZZ1r6h1ico1_1280He hurt me constantly, as if he felt compelled to do it all the time. “You hurt me,” I said, in quiet tones. Never did I scream at him. I tried to convey the pain as I told him. I was sure he could see it in my tears. But no, he didn’t like tears. He blanked me out every time he saw me cry because he didn’t want to admit to himself that he was the cause of my pain. All he could say was, “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I couldn’t possibly hurt you.” It was the strongest case of denial I’d ever seen in another person. If he refused to own what he did to me, he could simply keep right on doing it. He refused to hear me. He refused to comfort me. He refused to treat me respectfully. He refused to accept me for who I am.

He REFUSED himself…right out of my life.

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2 thoughts on “Denial of Pain

  1. I know there are people, not just men, with an attitude like the one written here. I commend the Author for having the courage to be rid of the hurtful one! As well as being able to post this.
    I think it’s quite sad, even a bit cowardly, to not own up to your actions. I wouldn’t say I’m a “manly-man” but I know it’s not right to hurt someone else, be it physical or emotional.
    Unfortunately, each of us cause a bit of pain to others, however unintentional. I choose not to keep those who have violated my trust as a part of my life.

    Like

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my post.

      Something came back to me after reading your comment and it was the memory of him pleading with me to promise that I would NEVER hurt him. He also expected me to always laugh and never cry, which told me that he never understood the concept of yin/yang. I tried to explain that without sadness, we wouldn’t appreciate what it means to be happy and the same with darkness/light, etc. He just didn’t get it.

      Kind regards to you.

      Liked by 1 person

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