{Originally posted on Medium, date unknown} From years and years of unbearable emotional pain, I found a sense of inner strength and determination that I never believed I had. From that pain, I developed a new mindset that would change my whole perspective. For many years, I was married to someone whose mission was to … Continue reading Survivor


Letter: Dear Warrior Woman

Dear Warrior Woman, First off, allow me to tell you just how stunningly beautiful you are. How do I know? Because you're a survivor. You entrusted your heart to someone who repaid you only by shattering it. Repeatedly. You learned to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on. You take care of your … Continue reading Letter: Dear Warrior Woman

Word{s} Of the Day: Verbal Abuse

My mother would emerge from the bedroom looking smartly dressed and beautifully made up, anticipating one of her many social gatherings with her friends. I always looked at her in admiration, awestruck by her beauty. My father would look her up and down and say, "You're going out in THAT?" or "Good grief, you scared me … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Verbal Abuse

Word Of the Day: Survivor

"You are a hero because you are changing the world by saying no to domestic abuse." ~ Domestic Violence Survivor "I am a survivor." When you read that, what were the thoughts that crossed your mind? What feelings did that statement elicit? Did you believe it of yourself? Did you say it with conviction? Did … Continue reading Word Of the Day: Survivor

Word{s} Of the Day: Reaching Out

If you have been following this blog for a while, you'll know that I always encourage our readers to "reach out" to trusted family members, friends or us here at Café Sanctuary. Often, reaching out is the first, most difficult step an abuse victim may take in getting help and it definitely takes a lot … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Reaching Out

Word Of the Day: Independence

On a chilly day in March, 7'ish years ago, I took control of my life, by fleeing my abusive situation and moving to a house of my own. I'd never really had a taste of independence before, which was extremely daunting, but it was also the necessary "rite of passage" I'd missed out on in my … Continue reading Word Of the Day: Independence

Word Of the Day: Empowerment

One of the most touching things my mother ever said to me was, "I admire you for having the courage to walk away from your abusive situation. I wish I had." I have thought a lot about my parents' marriage, especially in recent years, because there were many parallels that served to strengthen the bond … Continue reading Word Of the Day: Empowerment

Why You Should Never Rush Into a Post-Abuse Relationship

y life after fleeing abuse was filled with unknowns and, for me, the unknowns were daunting. It was the first time I'd ever been truly on my own. I wondered if I had the strength to do what needed doing after many years of feeling deflated, inadequate, "useless" {as he so hatefully referred to me}. … Continue reading Why You Should Never Rush Into a Post-Abuse Relationship

The Important Question You Must Ask

The question I'm about to ask you is not to make you feel like you're being judged. In fact, I wish someone had asked me this very question because I now realize that it's the difficult questions that ultimately lead us to effect important changes in our lives. Difficult questions force us to explore things … Continue reading The Important Question You Must Ask

Why Leaving Is the Best Thing You’ll Ever Do

very so often, while browsing my social media feeds, I see subtle hints of a broken spirit. It's all in the way someone words a tweet or Facebook status. Or their choice of quotes, memes or articles shared. I remember what it felt like, in that daily harrowing environment, being torn between the shame of what … Continue reading Why Leaving Is the Best Thing You’ll Ever Do