Word Of the Day: Independence

On a chilly day in March, 7'ish years ago, I took control of my life, by fleeing my abusive situation and moving to a house of my own. I'd never really had a taste of independence before, which was extremely daunting, but it was also the necessary "rite of passage" I'd missed out on in my … Continue reading Word Of the Day: Independence

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Why You Should Never Rush Into a Post-Abuse Relationship

y life after fleeing abuse was filled with unknowns and, for me, the unknowns were daunting. It was the first time I'd ever been truly on my own. I wondered if I had the strength to do what needed doing after many years of feeling deflated, inadequate, "useless" {as he so hatefully referred to me}. … Continue reading Why You Should Never Rush Into a Post-Abuse Relationship

The Most Important Dealbreaker Of All

I remember that first red flag all those years ago. At the time, it "felt" disguised as my abuser doing the "puffed out chest" thing in a chat with his male co-worker and me to ensure there was no threat to our relationship. Did I think it was cute? No. The degree of brutality toward … Continue reading The Most Important Dealbreaker Of All

Healing As a Family

Before I delve further into this post, I just want to say that I write this with the greatest love for my kiddos. This is not an attack on either of them in any way. I am extremely proud of both and truly believe that they are fundamentally good people. In writing this article, I … Continue reading Healing As a Family

Rebuilding: Future Relationships

Life begins...[?] At 30? 40? Or is it 50? Maybe it's something else. Everyone has their own way of filling in that blank. For me, life began when I returned to America. Moving back was the perfect opportunity to rebuild my life from the ground up because, for the first time in 16+ years, my life … Continue reading Rebuilding: Future Relationships

Relationship Advice: How to Deal With the End

If you have reached the end of a relationship ~ and particularly, if you have children ~  please read this article carefully. As someone who has been through an acrimonious divorce, I want to detail the impact it has had upon my kiddos and me. Divorce is difficult, even in the best of situations, but … Continue reading Relationship Advice: How to Deal With the End

Mindset for Escaping/Rebuilding

If you are reading this, thinking how desperately you want things to change in your current situation, you are ready to begin your journey. Somewhere inside of you, an unconscious decision has already been made; the only thing stopping you is the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and the question: "Where do I even begin?" I … Continue reading Mindset for Escaping/Rebuilding

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking the cycle of abuse begins with the conscious decision to declare, "The abuse stops NOW." As someone who jumped from one abusive environment to another, I can say that, yes, it took me a while to "get it." Abuse was all I ever knew and, sadly, it was the norm for me. So normal, … Continue reading Breaking the Cycle

Relationships: Healthy vs Abusive

Part of my healing process involved learning the difference between abusive relationships and healthy ones. My counselor was an integral part of my empowerment; he helped me acquire the knowledge, confidence and tools I needed to escape and rebuild my life. I learned how to break the cycle by accepting that there was nothing I … Continue reading Relationships: Healthy vs Abusive

Parental Alienation – Aftermath

He wanted me to fail. For the entirety of our marriage, he made it his mission to see that I failed at everything so that he could prove, to himself, his family...and me, that I was a "useless waste of space" that nobody else would ever want. The parental alienation had subtle beginnings, just after … Continue reading Parental Alienation – Aftermath