Word{s} Of the Day: Verbal Abuse

My mother would emerge from the bedroom looking smartly dressed and beautifully made up, anticipating one of her many social gatherings with her friends. I always looked at her in admiration, awestruck by her beauty. My father would look her up and down and say, "You're going out in THAT?" or "Good grief, you scared me … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Verbal Abuse

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Word{s} Of the Day: Social Media Abuse

In the last several months, I've noticed a marked increase in online abuse taking place across my social media feeds. I never attack anyone in comments or on Twitter; if I do comment, I make every effort to be as polite as I can and end exchanges on a positive note, even if others are … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Social Media Abuse

Word{s} Of the Day: Physical Abuse

When I was 17, my father raised his hand to me, intent on slapping me; if my mother hadn't been there to stop him, he probably would have. I had little respect for my father before that day, but that incident ruined what little respect I had left. That he even considered hitting me made … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Physical Abuse

Word{s} Of the Day: #MeToo

There's a trend right now on Twitter, #MeToo, for anyone who's experienced sexual harassment or assault to virtually hold their hand up in declaration and raise awareness about this painful epidemic in our world today. How fitting that #MeToo is trending during National Domestic Violence Awareness Month because I want to talk about the aspect … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: #MeToo

Word Of the Day: Narcissism {Reblogged Post}

For today’s “Word Of the Day” post, I’m reposting the piece I wrote on narcissism earlier this year on 28 May 2017. There’s nothing to add to what I’ve already written; to write a further article would not only be redundant but, also, emotionally draining.

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Café Sanctuary

In a retrospective look over past posts, I’m surprised I haven’t written more detailed posts about narcissistic abuse. My fiancé suggested that I might have subconsciously avoided writing about it due to the pain I suffered and he’s probably right. I’m still healing even after all this time.

There are varying degrees and types of narcissism, all of them being very difficult to deal with. I have had relationships with 2 narcissists and further experiences with several others who exhibited narcissistic behavior. As an empath, I’ve felt like an irresistible target for narcissists because of my tendency to put the needs of others ahead of my own, as explained in one of the many articles about such relationships,

Many years ago, when I met {Narcissist 1}, he immediately knew that I was in an extremely vulnerable state. I might as well have worn a neon sign, saying, “Exploit me! Exploit…

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Word Of the Day: Intimidation

My mother wasn't allowed to enjoy herself. When we were all gathered around the table, laughing and joking, my mother laughed with us...but she was constantly aware of the predictable, silent interactions between herself and my father. Even if she wasn't looking directly at him, she knew he was glaring at her, willing her to … Continue reading Word Of the Day: Intimidation

Word Of the Day: Gaslighting

I remember looking at him closely, on several occasions, searching for signs that he was joking about his denial...but he wasn't. His expression stayed serious and unaffected as he insisted he'd never said what I knew I'd heard him say. I didn't understand why he was repeatedly playing these mind games. One day, my daughter … Continue reading Word Of the Day: Gaslighting

Word{s} Of the Day: Financial Abuse

I never realized there was such a thing as financial abuse until I experienced it myself. My ex controlled every aspect of our finances, including dictating what I couldn't buy {including clothes and personal items}. If he didn't think I needed something, I didn't get it. His view was that if I didn't contribute to our … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Financial Abuse

Word{s} Of the Day: Emotional Abuse

"Emotional Abuse" is not a separate kind of abuse. More accurately, it's a symptom that comes with the other forms of abuse. Our emotional health suffers regardless of whether the abuse is physical, sexual, financial, psychological or verbal. The emotional turmoil we experience in an abusive situation happens because we feel like we're living in a prison … Continue reading Word{s} Of the Day: Emotional Abuse

The Truth About Physical Abuse

"If he ever lays a finger on me, he's out." My mother said it of my abusive, alcoholic father. I said it at the beginning of my long-term relationships. When I was growing up, I associated "abuse" with the physical kind. "Wife-beater" was a pretty common term back then and, for my mother ~ and, eventually, me … Continue reading The Truth About Physical Abuse