We, at Café Sanctuary, know that, in creating our Outreach Service, we must be more than “just an informational site”. Our clients have the right to know who we are, considering that they’re putting their trust in us.
My name is Carol and my entries on this blog are written as “NawlinsAngel”. I am originally from New Orleans (lived in Texas, Mississippi and, most recently, abroad in the United Kingdom) and I am “Mum” to 2 kiddos ~ one grown (in his early 20’s) and the other is nearly grown (in her mid-teens).
What I have written here is only a fraction of what I experienced throughout the course of my marriage. I am using the platform I have to tell my story, in the hopes that it’ll reach anyone who needs reassurance that they’re not alone. I experienced “rock bottom” and I know how hard it is to climb back up from that dark place when one feels helpless, hopeless and desperate for the situation to change. For 13 years, I endured emotional, verbal, psychological, financial abuse daily. I know about the dynamics and emotions that take place in such a dysfunctional relationship. What I experienced, what I learned and what I realized…was my reality for over a decade. I was at the heart of it; I was the target; I was the front-row audience who experienced it all with full-on intensity.
I fought extremely hard to survive. Most of the people I looked to for help didn’t understand. Some of them needed to see bruises on me before they would even help me. In what universe is it even logical for a woman to want bruises or some other tell-tale marks, just so people believe abuse is happening? How perverse was it that I wanted him to hit me so that I would have proof? In the legal arena, I couldn’t even admit that it was happening because, heaven forbid, the judge should think I was trying to end my daughter’s relationship with her abusive father. No, I wasn’t. I was seeking protection. There is a difference.
This is why I believe that my help is necessary. Every abuse victim who reaches out for help deserves to reach someone who:
- understands and validates her thoughts, beliefs and feelings, without question or doubt.
- empowers her by helping her find the inner strength and determination that’s necessary to move toward a life of independence, without the need or desire to look back.
- helps her to fully understand the dynamic of abuse so that she can see beyond the illusion and realize that it was never her fault.
- gives her the voice that she wouldn’t otherwise have, by being willing to articulate her needs when she can’t do it herself.
- offers comfort that stems from a genuine feeling of empathy and the security of knowing that someone is on her side, through the chaos of escaping and rebuilding.
We all need someone to stand with us in the face of adversity and, if I can make someone’s journey go more smoothly, it’s all good.
You can reach me on any of the social media sites listed below:
- Twitter – @caeleyn
- LinkedIn – www.linkedin.com/in/clmoulin
- Google+ – +Carol
- Or…email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
- For an extra level of trust, I’m verified on TrustCloud.
As always, we’re here to help.
God Bless You and thank you for reading.